5 Steps to Conquering Your Fear in an Unplanned Pregnancy

Unplanned pregnancy fears don't have to win. You can conquer fear by taking wise steps..An unplanned pregnancy can feel like a fun surprise or a fearful shock, depending on your situation. If you find yourself scared about your pregnancy, you’re not alone. Many women fear things like:

  • A partner’s reaction
  • What friends and family will say
  • Taking care of a baby
  • Changing their plans for school or career
  • Making wrong decisions
  • Dealing with nine months in a pregnant body

So what can you do when facing fears like these? Is there any way to conquer those fears and come out the winner in your pregnancy decisions?

Here are five fear-taming steps you can start taking now.

Step 1: Don’t Panic

Though your heart may be racing, it is important to calm down. Take deep, slow breaths until you can feel yourself start to relax. Then read on.

Guard against rushing your next move. You may feel you have to act fast, but in reality, you need to go slow. A carefully made pregnancy decision is more likely to be a satisfying one.

This is also the time to make sure you know what you’re really dealing with. Your local pregnancy center can provide a free, high-quality pregnancy test to confirm whether you are pregnant. If that’s positive, an ultrasound can determine how far along you are and whether the pregnancy is viable.[1]

Step 2: Seek a Caring and Confidential Mentor

You need someone on your side who:

  • has no personal or financial stake in your decision
  • has been trained to serve women facing unplanned pregnancy
  • listens well
  • will keep everything you say confidential

With a mentor, you can talk through your current situation—all its strengths and weak points—as well as your hopes and concerns. Sometimes just putting things into words can help you identify the resources you already have and those you would need in order to move forward.

Here’s a plus: Your mentor can also help you work out the best way to share your pregnancy news with the people you care about. After all, she has probably coached many others through this too.

Step 3: Explore all Your Options

To make a wise decision, find out all the facts about the risks, benefits, and impacts of your three options: parenting, abortion, and adoption. A pregnancy center is a great place to do just that.

Here at Choices Pregnancy Center, for instance, we offer a safe place to ask all your questions and receive truthful and complete answers. From there, you can take all the time you need to think everything over. No one will pressure or coerce you into making one choice or another.

Now's your chance to find out what kinds of support are available with each option. Who can walk with you on this journey? What practical assistance is there? Where can you learn how to step through the next phases of your chosen course? These are all good questions for your pregnancy center. They have connections throughout your community as well as resources of their own to offer you.

Step 4: Remember Your Values

Remember that fear can make us do things we would never do otherwise. When we feel afraid, it is easy to forget who we are and what we stand for.

So if you are scared about your unplanned pregnancy, take a moment to regain a hold on your values. Try asking yourself questions like these:

  • How did I feel about unplanned pregnancy before it happened to me?
  • What have I admired about other people who faced difficult decisions?
  • In twenty years, what character traits do I hope to have?
  • How can I use this experience to start developing that kind of character now?

Questions like these can help you reconnect with who you are at your best, not at your most stressed-out. Decisions based on what you really value—not your momentary fears—are more likely to be choices you’ll be proud of for the rest of your life.

Step 5: Make a Plan

One of the best ways to shake free of fear is to make a plan and act on it. Start with one thing you can do to move forward in a positive direction. If you haven’t yet taken any of the steps above, maybe the first thing to do is contact a mentor.

Or, if you’ve already discussed some ideas with a mentor, pick one action to take next. Maybe it’s telling one supportive friend you’re pregnant. Maybe it’s making a doctor appointment. Maybe it’s talking to your partner. Just choosing one action and taking it restores your feeling of control in this situation.

Celebrate your first action step with your mentor, then plan the next one. Soon you will be moving forward with confidence, step after step, conquering your fears.


Check out the help you have available at Choices Pregnancy Center.

We’re here to make sure no one has to feel alone or afraid
when facing an unplanned pregnancy.

Call or text us today.



[1] It is important to be sure the fetus is developing within the womb; if it is growing elsewhere, that would require a doctor’s attention right away.