For decades people have described adoption with words like “giving your child up” or “putting your child up” for adoption. It’s as if they think a mother who makes an adoption plan is just abandoning her child or displaying him for sale!
If you’re a pregnant woman in a difficult situation, don’t let those old-fashioned words turn you off from considering adoption for your child. Adoption could turn out to be the best way for you to not only give your child life, but also to give him the life you want for him.
Too many people assume adoptions in the US are still the sneaky, shame-filled events they once were. But you’re smart enough to find out the truth.
Read on. In honor of National Adoption Month, we're about to explode several of the old myths about adoption.
Myth: “Adoption is Just Abandoning Your Child”
Fact: Adoption is using wisdom and love to make a proactive and positive plan for the life of your child. By contrast, abandonment is passively reacting out of fear, leaving a child on his own and doing little or nothing to provide for his future.
Adoption planning lets you, the baby’s birth mother, determine many aspects of his future, including:
- the kind of family he will grow up with
- how much contact you and your child will have after the adoption
- when you will actually present your child to his new parents
Adoption is a courageous, wisdom-based act of creating hope and stability for a child coming from an otherwise difficult situation.
Myth: “Adoption is an Ugly Secret”
Fact: Adoption is a beautiful way to create happy, healthy families. That’s why today’s adoptive parents don’t hide adoption from their children any more. They know that adoption was a good thing for their child, not an embarrassing thing.
It works out like this:
- Open adoptions make clear that a child has a birth mother and an adoptive mother.
- For 99 percent of adopted children ages 5 and older, being adopted is a fact they’re already aware of, according to this report.
- Most teenagers who were adopted as infants “show no signs that adoption had a negative effect on their identity development, mental health, or well-being” a study reported here reveals.
Adoption is a brave mother giving life to her child and then delivering him into the waiting arms of the family who can give that child the life she wants for him.
Myth: “My Child Will Grow Up Hating Me”
Fact: Adopted children come to understand that adoption was their path to the positive life they now have. No child—adopted or otherwise—has a perfect life. All children in the world have to make peace with the parts of their life journeys they may not like.
Your child will undoubtedly have questions about how and why he was adopted. But here’s some encouraging truth to hang onto:
- Open communication between you and your child can help him grow to understand your motives and feelings toward him.
- Most children really begin to appreciate the difficult and painful choices their parents had to make when they become parents themselves.
- This site reports that 90% of adopted children have positive feelings about their adoption.
And remember this:
An adopted child is chosen twice. His birthmother chose to give him life; his new family chose to make him their own.
Adoption is a Good Hard Choice
Ask any birth mother who has left her baby in the arms of an adoptive parent, and you’ll hear that it was a very painful moment.
But when you face an unplanned pregnancy amid difficult circumstances, all your choices can feel painful. How can you decide what to do?
What you need is someone who won’t judge you, won’t push you, and won’t desert you. You need someone like Choices Pregnancy Center.
You don't have to face your decisions alone. Call or text us here at Choices Pregnancy Center. We’d love to work with you while you find your own way through your dilemma. No pressure, no deadlines.
If adoption sounds interesting to you, we can connect you with people who are willing to answer all your questions about that option.
Don’t walk alone any longer. Contact us today.
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