Father’s Day was tough when I was a single mom. A dark, menacing voice kept taunting me, “You’re alone. Your boy has no man around. You know all those statistics on how fatherless kids turn out? They’re going to happen to your son.”
Maybe it was good for me to be reminded: a single mother can’t date just anybody. There’s a little somebody who is counting on Mom to protect him from the Big Bad Guys. Far too many boyfriends abuse the children of single mothers. So, we mothers have to be “savvy shoppers” when we seek relationships. Mom’s Big Guy needs to be good for Mom’s Little Guy, too. But how can we tell the good guys from the bad?
Today, Choices Pregnancy Center has all the information I could have used back then. Now I’m in a position to pass on some of that wisdom to you, in case you’re also in the market for a Good Dad. (See some of our other related posts at the end of this article, too.)
- A Good Dad is active, not passive. He doesn’t hand off the work to Mom. From diapering and cuddling to carrying and dressing, a dad can do it all. Sure, he has to learn just like a mom does. But once he gets it, he’s right in there. He starts to think ahead about what the child will need next, and gets ready to do that, too.
- A Good Dad is a man. Seems obvious, huh? But lots of guys are stuck being boys. While boys are having fun with their toys, men are busy taking care of the people who depend on them. Good Dads put their families first. When deciding about how to spend their time, money, and energy, Good Dads will choose what helps their wives and children before themselves. Like soldiers, they know how to make sacrifices.
- A Good Dad sticks around. He makes promises and keeps them. He commits to his family and doesn’t let life tear him away from it. A Good Dad will work hard on his relationship with you so that you two can be a solid rock for your kids. And he will be there for you and your kids–when there’s a diaper to change, a boo-boo requiring a Band-Aid®, or a tired mom who needs shoulder to cry on. Check out this video…
- A Good Dad touches his kids. He rough-houses with them, and he gives them tender and appropriate affection. That’s how boys learn to temper their testosterone, and how girls learn the way men ought to treat them.
- A Good Dad is… well… good. He knows he’s a role model and a hero to a child. So he doesn’t drag his family down by hanging onto bad habits like drugs, drinking, or breaking the law. Like you, he wants to “straighten up and fly right” so the kids can see first-hand how to succeed in life.
A tall order? You bet. It takes some serious hunting to find a Good Dad. Have you found one? Tell us about him. Do you have more questions about Good Dads? Ask them. You can comment here or text us.
Once you find your Good Dad, he may need time to learn his job, just like you do. So bring him to see us at Choices. We love to help parents learn to be the best they can be.
And if you’re curious, I did find a Good Dad. You can, too. Be patient, and remember: you and your child deserve a Good Dad.