Hooking up. . . Friends with benefits . . . No strings attached.
Get what you want and move on. It sounds so good.
But is it? Let’s talk honestly about how hooking up really plays out.
Good for Your Body?
Every time you have sex with a temporary partner, you run the risk of either getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI). No one can dispute that.
Think a condom will protect you? Eighteen women in 100 get pregnant when their partner uses a condom; that’s almost one out of every five women. The numbers go higher if he doesn’t use the condom just right.
As far as STIs go, “Consistent and correct use of male latex condoms can reduce (though not eliminate) the risk of STD transmission,” according to the Centers for Disease Control. Key words: consistent and correct use. We all know how often that happens.
Good for Your Heart?
We’ve written about how sex affects your emotions. The avalanche of feel-good chemicals released during sex are designed to help you bond with, trust, and stay loyal to the person to whom you are giving yourself. That’s great in a long-term relationship where you’re both committed to make it last.
In a hook-up, you set the avalanche in motion and then you tell it to stop. Not a pretty picture for your poor heart.
A college student, trying to write in favor of hooking up, had to admit that the evidence shows it leaves people feeling bad:
“In fact, research indicates that it can foster negative emotions in the long run. A study of 200 undergraduates found that 78% of women and 72% of men who’d had uncommitted sex reported experiencing regret after an encounter, while another study found that men and women who had engaged in casual sex had lower self-esteem scores than those who had not.”
Why would you do that to yourself?
Good for Your Social Life?
Some people say hooking up is just what everybody does. In reality, almost a third of young people are not sexually active.
It’s always wise to ask yourself if you’re hooking up to prove something.
- Showing the ex-boyfriend you can replace him?
- Proving to friends you’re cool?
- Convincing yourself you’re desirable?
Wouldn’t it be better to prove you are a strong, independent woman who knows she deserves only the best?
Women get tired of the hook-up scene faster than men. They’re tired of being treated like a pleasure-machine for a guy. Many women say they hope their hook-ups will develop into long-lasting relationships.
Unfortunately, sleeping around before a committed relationship—like marriage—usually means the partners won’t do a good job staying faithful within the relationship. “Partners who’ve had many partners have a hard time becoming monogamous,” according to this article.
Looks like hooking up decreases your chances for living “happily ever after.”
If You Want Something Better Check Out Your Choices
When you decide the hook-up scene isn’t for you, come talk with the folks at Choices Pregnancy Center. Yeah, “Pregnancy” is in our name. But the key word is “Choices.” We believe in your ability to choose a lifestyle that’s truly good for you. Maybe you just want a little help finding your direction.
We’ve got great mentors and some easy-to-follow DVD lessons to get the discussion going. We’re here for anyone—male or female, pregnant, parenting, or not—who wants to have a life full of healthy relationships.Choices: here for anyone who wants to have a life full of healthy relationships. Click To Tweet
Text, call or stop by. We’d love to join you on your journey to the life you really want.