Pregnancy—especially one that catches you by surprise—leads to making choices. Becoming pregnant has already changed your life. The choice you make next will change it further. Let’s talk about each choice you have available: abortion, parenting, and adoption.
How will abortion change my life?
One of your choices might be to terminate your pregnancy. Depending on how far along you are and where the pregnancy has begun, different methods of abortion may or may not work for you.
That’s why getting an ultrasound scan is wise at this point. A limited obstetric ultrasound can tell you three things you’ll need to know:
- How far along is the pregnancy?
- Where is the pregnancy located? (It’s important to rule out an ectopic pregnancy, which would require different medical attention than an abortion.)
- Is the pregnancy viable? (From 10-20% of pregnancies end on their own through miscarriage, making an abortion unnecessary.)
Once you know these facts, you will be better able to decide between your options.
How will an abortion change your life? It depends. We know women who have chosen abortion and experienced relief, regret, and everything in between. Sometimes feelings about an abortion change over time. At the very least, your hormones—and the feelings that are connected to them—will need time to return to pre-pregnancy levels.
What about other changes? After a successful abortion, you will no longer be pregnant. That fact alone changes the look of your future. It may change the look of your past as well. Some women find they want to make different choices about their relationships and sexual activity than they did before the abortion. Some women freely discuss their abortions; others don’t.
The implications of choosing an abortion are as unique as you are. You may find it helpful to talk over those possible implications with our nurse after your ultrasound.
How will parenting change my life?
Continuing your pregnancy on through delivering your baby will change your life significantly, too. A child will join the other people who are already in your world. How will that take shape? How might they stand with you in raising this child?
Some women feel unprepared to parent a child. What would it take for you to become prepared? A well-connected mentor, like one of those at Choices Pregnancy Center, can listen to you describe your situation and then get you in touch with the resources you need—at no cost. There is a lot of help available in our community, like:
- Pregnancy and childbirth classes
- Parenting education
- Life skills training
- Baby supplies
- Maternity clothes
- Fatherhood training for your partner
- Relationship help
- Life coaching
- Help with expenses
- Domestic violence victim advocacy
- … and much more
Many fears during early in pregnancy fade away after time with a caring mentor who has successfully walked with other women through a similar circumstances. Just learning where and how to get what you need can help you evaluate whether parenting could work for you.
How will choosing to parent change your life? Again, you’re unique. So your parenting journey will be unique too. Parenting certainly means you will have a child to live for and love. You will have another person to think about before yourself. This may make you deal with your other relationships differently. You may sometimes feel burdened by caring for another human being. You may have times of sheer delight.
Parenting will be challenging at times and rewarding at others. The child who is invisibly growing inside you right now will start to smile at you, cry at night, wet their diaper, hug you, and add to your life in ways no one can yet imagine. Parenting will probably be a roller coaster. Talk these potential changes over with a trusted friend or mentor as you evaluate the pros and cons or parenting for you.
How will adoption change my life?
Not everyone who wishes to continue their pregnancy feels they are truly equipped to raise a child at this time. Maybe it’s their living situation, educational needs, or (lack of) family support that rules out being a parent to the child they carry.
Fortunately, adoption is now a much better option for children and for birth parents than it ever has been before. As the birth parent, you would get to choose the family you want to raise this child. You could also choose how much involvement you wish to have with this child in the future.
How would choosing adoption change your life? You would carry a child through birth, giving them a start in life no one else could give. You would experience the difficult moment of officially giving the child to another family to raise. You would live separately from the child you gave birth to. However, you would still be involved in the child’s life, as you and the adoptive family agreed.
As you consider this choice, talk to other women who planned an adoption for their children. Find out what their experience has been and evaluate how that might look for you. At Choices Pregnancy Center, we can also pass along information about adoption in our area.
Talk it Through
In pregnancy, you’re facing a life-changing decision. It’s the kind of decision best discussed with a knowledgeable, compassionate mentor who can listen to all your concerns and help you find answers.
Of course, you want to make a decision that will change your life for the best—free of regrets and true to all that matters most to you.
That’s why Choices Pregnancy Center is here. Not to make the decision for you. But to walk with you through the process, providing the complete information, support, and care you deserve.
Contact us today to get that conversation started. Call or text us at 507-637-2534.
