You can learn a lot from a pregnancy test.
First, of course, it can reveal whether you’re pregnant or not.
Second, taking the test may unleash emotions that reveal how you feel about a potential pregnancy. Do you see pregnancy as a setback? Or is it an event you’re excited about?
Third, your test results—either positive or negative—can trigger reactions in your partner that reveal important things about him. And that tells you a lot about the health of your relationship.
This article focuses on that third revelation. As you consider what your pregnancy test reveals about your partner, make sure you give him time to process the news. His immediate emotional reaction may change when he has had time to think about it. Keep that in mind as you read on.
Now let’s look at what your partner’s reactions can reveal about him.
What a Negative Pregnancy Test Can Reveal
If a negative test result leaves you and your partner feeling relieved, what does that tell you? Perhaps being pregnant is not part of your shared plans right now. Then this is a good time to re-evaluate your sexual activity.
We all know sex is what leads to pregnancy. So, if a man doesn’t want to create a pregnancy, how might he respond to this negative pregnancy test?
One kind of man just blows off the link between sex and pregnancy. Let’s call him the Ignorer. He sees a negative pregnancy test as a free pass to keep having sex. Maybe he assumes that using birth control puts “the odds” on his side. He doesn’t mind gambling against your future. He probably isn’t clear on the risks of depending on birth control.
Another kind of man, the Caretaker, views the negative test as a wake-up call. Knowing that sex causes pregnancy, he’ll want the two of you to consider ways your relationship needs to adjust to help you avoid being pregnant. He’ll want to reserve sex for a time when you two are ready to take on a pregnancy together. The Caretaker is willing to exert his self-control to help take care of you.
Which of these two is more like your partner? In your relationship with him, do you feel you both respect and protect each other’s feelings, hopes, and plans? What would you like to see improve in that area?
What a Positive Pregnancy Test Can Reveal
A surprise positive pregnancy test can reveal whether your partner is a Runner, a Manipulator, an Avoider, or a Team Player.
A Runner is motivated by fear. A pregnancy feels threatening to him, so he just wants to make it go away. He doesn’t want to look at other options. Erasing the “danger” is his one goal. He may not even stick around long enough to find out what you decide to do.
A Manipulator tries to pressure you into doing what he wants you to do. He pays no attention to your concerns or wishes. Rather than considering all your options together, he decides for you. He may say something like, “What’s it going to be: the baby or me?” On the other hand, he might say, “That’s my baby and you’re keeping it!” without making sure you feel heard, cared about, and supported in this moment of crisis.
An Avoider can sound kind and considerate when he says, “You do whatever you want.” He doesn’t weigh in on the decision at all. But by doing that, he has passively shifted all his responsibility onto your shoulders. Now you have to carry the entire burden of learning about your options and deciding between them alone.
Finally, a Team Player is a man who accepts his responsibility in this pregnancy. He steps up and assures you he will walk through this experience with you. He participates in the decision-making and commits to finding a positive solution for everyone involved.
Which of the four types of men above sound most like your partner? What would you like to see happen to improve your relationship in the face of this pregnancy?
Relationships Can Improve—with Help
You don’t have to deal with the results of your pregnancy test—and what it reveals about your relationship—alone.
The team at Choices Pregnancy Center is here to assist you in facing decisions about sex, pregnancy, and your relationship. We give women and their partners a safe place to discuss all their options together so they can decide on their next steps.
And if you don’t like what your pregnancy test revealed about your relationship, we can help there, too. Our team is ready to work with you in building a healthier, stronger relationship going forward.
All our services are free. Contact us today to find out how we can help you and your partner.