Blindsided by your girlfriend announcing she’s pregnant?
Now you’ve got the challenge of figuring out what to do next. Before you two decide, check out all your options. Weigh the pros and cons for your own situation. Take time to choose carefully, so you’re not blindsided by the consequences of your next decision.
We’re ready to walk with you as you find your way through this. You can contact us right now, if you like. Or hold that thought and consider the following ideas first.
Know What You’re Really Dealing With
Is She Really Pregnant?
First, it’s always a good idea to make sure your girlfriend isn’t confusing pregnancy symptoms with another condition.
We recommend taking a medical-grade pregnancy test, like the kind we offer for free.
Is Her Pregnancy Viable?
You might be surprised how many early pregnancies end on their own. That’s why we offer free, limited ultrasound scans to determine whether a pregnancy is healthy and continuing. Our ultrasounds can detect a heartbeat, determine the age of gestation (development) and locate the pregnancy. (Why "location"? Because an ectopic pregnancy, outside the uterus, must be addressed quickly to protect the woman’s health.)
Having the medical facts in hand is the first step to deciding what to do next.
Know What Options You Have
The second step is to explore all the options available to you.
Basically, there are three options, with a few variations: 1) continue the pregnancy and parent the child, 2) continue the pregnancy and find the child an adoptive family, 3) abort the pregnancy.
If you and your girlfriend choose to continue the pregnancy, will you parent the child together? What will that look like? Consider the difference it might make to commit to becoming a family with married parents, versus a couple living together “at this time” or separate parents who co-parent from different homes. Choices Pregnancy Center can give you a safe place to talk through those options together, too.
If you don’t feel ready to parent a child but wish to carry the pregnancy through, you have a variety of agencies available to help you make an adoption plan. Your plan can include as much or as little involvement with the child’s future family as you like. (Ask us about agencies in our area; we can help connect you with those that interest you.)
If you choose to terminate the pregnancy, consider how you will support one another through the different emotions and potential complications that may arise. (Yes, men experience a range of emotions after an abortion, too.) While we do not perform or refer for abortions, we will be here if you need to talk through the experiences you have in connection with that choice.
Knowledge is Power
Once you know where you stand, check out what Choices Pregnancy Center can offer you as you make your decisions. We believe in empowering men to be caring, supportive leaders who treasure and strengthen the women they love. So, as you face this unexpected pregnancy, we’re here for you.
Contact us today to get started finding your best way forward.
More resources for men:
Men: your health during pregnancy
What Men Need to Know about Pregnancy
Wrestle with Unexpected Fatherhood and Win
Rock Fatherhood with On-the-Job-Training
How to be More than Just a Baby Daddy
Dad Up: Be the Father Your Kids Need